It doesn’t hurt because if you keep hurting the same part of you again and again and again, the nerve endings all die. And when that happens, that part of you goes numb. That’s why it doesn’t hurt. Don’t be proud of it.
you buy green vodka and yellow pills, you swallow anything that tastes like chocolate, you don’t let needles touch your skin, remember you are a painting, remember you have a mouth that can build oceans and destroy cities, you go and watch people dancing with open hands, you let your hair grow, you speak up when men on buses tell you they can imagine your naked thighs rubbing across their mouths, you speak up when your mother calls you worthless, and when the pastor at church yells at your brother for being gay you tell him to fuck off and that god is a blind woman in Missouri or in the broken streets of Canada and they don’t fucking care about your brother being gay, remember you are a mountain and the world is your piano, remember you do not have to know how to play a game to play it, eat sushi and drink whiskey, chain smoke cigarettes, expose your lungs to the taste of his lips, buy broken records, remember you are not the moon - you are the god damn galaxy, make people cry with your eyes, make people understand you with your hands, you survive by opening your mind, not by closing your eyes